I actually hate that word so much. It sounds so silly and childish. It was a word that you’d use when you’re in high school and I am most certainly past those days. Nevertheless it is a crush that has overcome me in recent weeks, and I couldn’t be more excited!
I’m not someone who tends to get bogged down by crushes. I like having crushes. I like being curious about someone and thinking so highly of someone that you barely know. It makes me happy. It’s something I enjoy talking to my girlfriends about. Even though the majority of the time it ends up being something that fades or never amounts to anything it’s a short term feeling of happiness that I thoroughly enjoy.
So, this man on the agenda…he is absolutely gorgeous! He, H, is in one of my seminar groups this semester and from day one I was instantly attracted to him. I recall the very first seminar of the semester so accurately. The majority of us were seated, thinking it would just be us (as there were over 15 people already) and he walked in, looked over at all of us and said ‘Hello guys!’ before seating himself and engaging in conversation with some of the other students. I thought to myself ‘wow, he is confident’ and my curiosity began to overwhelm me. As I began to listen into his conversation with the other students I could hear intelligence pouring out of his mouth and to top it all off, he has a pretty nice face!
Ten weeks later and I’m still admiring him from afar. Although I still know very little about him I have worked out who some his close friends are, having spotted him in lectures often, and am in fact acquainted with one of them. I have also found out that he is staying in the same halls as me although I’ve only ever seen him on the walk between there and university once. He’s also come and sat next to me in seminars two weeks in a row which greatly excited me and gave me the opportunity to talk to him, although we only did so to confer on the topics at hand.
People will wonder why I haven’t done anything to become more acquainted with him and honestly, it’s just not the right time. Of course I’d love to start seeing someone, Lord knows I banged on about how much I want to, but realistically I just don’t have the time right now. The year is almost over, exams are looming and over summer he will no doubt be returning to England whereas I am hoping to spend the majority of it in Glasgow and doing a bit of travelling also. A part of me does also believe that there’s no way he’ll ever like me yet after thinking that about my ex boyfriend and everything that happened with my handsome waiter at Christmas I’m not completely ruling out the possibility. Today for instance, he decided to pull up a chair next to me despite there being one free elsewhere…could this be a sign of something??? Probably not but you never know. Whether this amounts to anything or not, I’m excited regardless. H may think nothing of me and this could be completely one way but I love this feeling of excitement that seeing and thinking about him gives me. Plus, we’ve still got three years of university left together and we all know that a lot can happen in three years!